No, I didn't give up.

But I have been writing healthy stuff here every two weeks instead. I know, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I suck. I decided I should at least let you know... but I'll also try to be better about keeping you entertained more regularly as well.

So... I'm still doing the "no high fructose corn syrup" thing. I have quit buying anything with it in the ingredients list, and I have stopped drinking a daily soda. In fact, if I have a soda it's usually once a week or so.  My husband has had a hard time following the plan (that he suggested in the first place!) so I keep finding cereal and snacks he brings home from his job at Kellogg's that have The Devil on their labels. Gah!! Lucky for me, I don't eat a lot of cereal... and rarely any of the snacks he chooses. But I'd rather not have my kids eating it either. So the uphill battle hasn't eased much...

This summer I participated in a fitness program at the University of Arkansas that resulted in no weight loss, but an improvement in my resting heart-rate and blood pressure. It's a start! I also renewed my membership to a local gym last week, and will be working out three times a week after dropping my son at school. I'm lucky to have a 30-hour-a-week job so I don't have to be in until 9am. I'm hoping for some weight loss, so that I can run in shorts without them pulling up and getting hung in my crotch. There are other reasons to want to lose weight, of course, but I think none are as pressing as that.

I will not resort to this kind of look to keep it from happening... just in case you were concerned... But on second glance, I think she's having crotch/crack issues as well.

Nothing brilliant or ground-breaking to share this go-round I guess. Just wanted to let you know I'm not dead, nor have I had a crippling accident that's keeping me from using my laptop. I'll try to be better.

Role Model

What the hell am I doing writing a blog about getting healthy if I'm going to take a month-and-a-half break? I'm a horrible role model, but since no one has been emailing me frantically to get an update, I'm going to assume that you don't really care that much.

Today I have to write, because I finally took a baby step forward to be a better example. More than that, it was a step toward actually getting healthy like I keep talking about.

I've cut high fructose corn syrup out of my diet pretty effectively. I read every label, don't drink soda (okay, maybe one every few weeks) and have really cut back on processed foods. I'm trying to cook at home more and use whole grains and organic choices whenever possible. The biggest issue I've struggled with is adding exercise to my routine.

It's easy to say I'd like to walk in the evenings - but then there is a work meeting, or it's raining, or a tee-ball game... I have been trying to remind myself that it doesn't get dark until almost 9pm now, so even if I have a meeting I can still walk after it's over. It's tough to make dinner at home AND have a meeting AND walk, but it can be done. I just haven't been doing it.

But tonight I did!

The G Man had a tee-ball game tonight at 5:30 p.m. so I ran home to grab his equipment and uniform after work, picked him up and headed for the ball park. I was ticked off at myself for getting there with my writing note book but without a pen, but I survived. We came home and I made some spaghetti instead of stopping for fast food on the way. Then I needed to run to the store for some hair color and some lunch fixings for my daughter who is out of school for the summer. Instead of jumping in the car to drive the 1/2 mile to and from - I put on my sneakers, grabbed a reusable tote, and walked!

I have walked around my neighborhood before, so I am familiar with the yards and homes around the block nearest my own address, but walking down the road to Harps was a little adventure. I didn't take my iPod, so I listened to the music thumping from the tiny little customized cars that are favored by some of our country's newer citizens who live near me. I wasn't enclosed in a box full of air-conditioned air, so I smelled the flowering bushes in the yards along the way. And I got a great workout in my butt... proven by the funny twitching that ensued as soon as I got home. (What causes that??)


It was the second time I've walked in four days. G Man and I walked four miles at the Artosphere events last Saturday. Hopefully these good choices are only the first of many more to come!

So, I'm back. You can stop crying now.

This is going to be tedious...

I'm sure you have heard about high fructose corn syrup being the devil lately. It's kind of the new diet trend. There are quite a few products on the shelves at the grocery store now that claim to use "Real Sugar", others that simply claim "No HFCS", and there's even a commercial or two running in it's defense with someone saying it is "like sugar - fine in moderation".

I've been half-heartedly thinking that I want to cut it out of my diet, but hadn't taken the time to read every label when I'm shopping for the week... but this article, and this one, turned me around.

Not only do they talk about the difference between sugar and HFCS, they explain WHY the latter is considered to be worse for us than plain old sucrose. I had never really understood that part, and now I get it. Apparently, sugar in it's original form is more complex, and is less easily broken down and absorbed into our bodies. The processing that is done to HFCS allows it to be absorbed more easily, which makes it much more of a threat to our health.

So, tonight I went grocery shopping and was determined to bring home zero items containing this crap. It took me twice as long to shop, since I was reading every single label, but once I do that a couple of times  and find out which brands I'm okay with and which I'm not, it will be easier.

I was not surprised to find that ketchup has HFCS in it. I found one brand without it, Clearly Organic. It is more expensive than the Hunt's and Del Monte types by .50 cents or so, but I believe it's worth it. Especially since we don't go through a gallon of ketchup at a time. Same thing goes for barbecue sauce. Most of the more common brands I looked at listed it as one of the first three ingredients - shockingly, many of them had it as the FIRST ingredient. This means that there is more HFCS in those products than any other ingredient! Bull's Eye brand was the only one I found with sugar instead.

So, maybe it's not hard to believe that ketchup and barbecue sauce have HFCS in them, but what about crackers? And bread? Um, yeah. In crackers, it's listed a little further down in the list of ingredients, but I'm doing the "No HFCS" thing, so I had to look at several boxes of crackers before finding that the Kashi brand had what I was looking for. Also, saltines don't have any. The only thing we really use crackers for is to eat with a few slices of cheese, so basic is good anyway.

Now, the scary stuff - bread. I buy whole wheat, so I read every loaf of wheat on the shelf, and all of these have HFCS:
Mrs. Baird's
Wonder Bread
Sara Lee
Home Pride
Best Choice
Autumn Harvest

Nature's Own and Oro Wheat brands both have sugar in them instead, and Oro Wheat's ingredient list is smaller - meaning fewer fillers and chemicals. The really amazing thing (in my opinion) was that in the breads with the HFCS, it was listed as the third ingredient behind flour and water. I'm seriously considering baking my own bread from scratch.

Finally, let me make you feel better with some good surprises I found. These items, which I thought would be sure to contain HFCS, are no threat to my new shopping habits:
Peanut Butter - Jif and Peter Pan are both safe;
Jello pudding cups (shocking, right?? But Yoplait yogurt is on the no-no list - get Hiland Dairy brand instead);
Prego, Ragu, and most other brands of spaghetti sauce in a jar;
Salsa of all kinds (even Pace, which is too sweet for my taste).

So, there you go. A little bit of important info for you, because I care. It's no wonder that our country has become so obese in the last few decades - and that the change in our weight seems to run parallel to the timeline of inclusion of HFCS in our pre-packaged foods. Here's a parting shot...  check out the map of the U.S. on this page and click on "play" to watch the change from 1985 to 2008. Ewww.

Stalled

Last month I started contributing to a local website called NWAMotherlode writing about weight loss and making healthy choices. As a result, I've completely neglected this blog. I suck. I know.

Well, I'm back, and let me tell you, it's become very obvious to me that writing about weight loss and making healthy choices somehow doesn't translate into ACTUAL weight loss and the certain ability to MAKE healthy choices. I truly thought that it would be easier to stick to me guns when I'm around my weaknesses if I were accountable to all the people reading my personal account. Somehow, it's not working. Maybe I'm smart enough to know that no one (or at least not many) who reads the stuff I write will actually SEE me. So... the numbers on the scale can be between me and myself, and that's not helpful since I'm way to easy on myself.

That said - I have been better over the last week. I haven't eaten out as much, I've refused sweets at work and elsewhere, and I have been refusing coca cola more easily as well.Un-sweetened tea is my new friend. And this week I lost another pound. So, thus far, I've lost 5.5 pounds.That leaves me with a lot more to go to get to my 40 pound goal, but I'll take it one step at a time, right??

Okay, enough whining...

My brother told me I should read Food Rules by Michael Pollan to learn what he has to say about food choices. It's been really interesting, to say the least. It's a small tome, and very easy to read. Pollan says things like "If your grandmother wouldn't recognize it as food, don't eat it." And "if you can't prounounce the ingredients, don't eat it." Even if you don't follow all of the rules that Pollan lays down, this book is really a good thing to refer to as you start making decisions about changing your dietary habits. They are simple, and basic, and a lot of them have made me say "well, DUH!"

I'm putting a lot more fresh veggies and fruits on the counter at the grocery store lately, and reading almost every label. I'm amazed at the misleading things on the labels on the foods we eat. For example - I was looking at Cool Whip recently, and saw that there's a "Sugar Free" variety. Great, right? But I'm skeptical, so I look to see if it's got corn syrup or some other sucrose variety... In fact, it does. High Fructose Corn Syrup, right there on the label. But here's the REALLY stupid thing - the ingredients are exactly the same on the Sugar Free version as on the regular version! They are playing on our wish to cut out sugar by labeling their product as sugar free... hoping we won't notice their deception. I chose to buy a carton of whipping cream, and add my own little bit of sugar instead. YUMMY!

I just don't want so much processed and "____________ added" foods in my kitchen anymore. I'll do my best to take things back to basics and eat stuff that takes a little more prep time. It's healthier, and much of the time it's also cheaper than all the crap that's boxed and packaged and pre-prepared. I have time to make my family's food healthier - it's important.

Big Mirrors and Little Meals

This week in my bellydance class I was quite pissy. I knew when I got there that I was in a sour mood, but was hoping that surrounding myself with some cool chicks and learning some new moves would help shake the pouts I had going on. I even took a scarf to tie around my hips in an effort to give myself the illusion of legitimacy. I yanked it off after ten minutes, deciding I looked like a poser.

Part of the way through the class I was getting pissed off at the person I was seeing in the mirror. It's impossible not to compare myself with the other women in the class, no matter how I try to focus only on my own efforts. They're cool, but they're young and skinny...There is one woman who may be in her mid-thirties, but the rest are all in their 20's, and most have been dancing for a while and have slim, toned tummies. Of course I realize that an intelligent woman in her 40's would not compare themselves to women in their 20's.... this realization leads me to question my intelligence. But even if I didn't compare myself to my classmates - I just didn't like what I saw when I looked at myself.

I was able to keep from crying, but it wasn't easy. I even considered pretending to feel badly and just leaving, but I stuck it out. Success!!

See, a happy ending! You weren't expecting that, were you?

In addition to spending a long 60 minutes watching my fat ass doing Arabics and Egyptians, Choo Choos, Chest Thrusts, and Camel Walks (completely different than camel toes, thank god), I also went home from my class and chose to have a little bowl of All Bran for dinner, saving myself a lot of calories and additional feelings of self-loathing. By the time I went to bed I was feeling better about myself. But it wasn't easy.

The word for the week is PERSERVERANCE. Making healthy choices isn't easy - if it were, we'd all look like Jillian Michaels. Instead, it takes constant diligence and self-awareness. I'm in touch with my self.. now I need to make the self a self I don't mind seeing in a floor-to-ceiling mirror.

Yeah, that's right...

I am trying to get healthier.

I think I'm saying that to remind myself - not you, kind reader. I just haven't been doing everything that I could have been doing over the last week to get to that goal, so I need to give myself a little pep talk.

Today I definitely made better attempts to stick to my commitment. I had some tacos for lunch from The Flying Burrito - they had chicken, tomatoes, black olives, jalapenos and some cheese on soft tortillas. Not bad - nothing fried, at least (unlike Monday, when I ate Long John Silver's and knew with every bite that I was FAILING). Tonight, I had some homemade chicken soup with cabbage, carrots, onion, celery and rice. It was totally delicious, and helped me feel better about my efforts. I've made myself a pitcher of iced tea and am drinking it every night. One day at a time...

Not only was today successful in terms of my eating, but I also went to my second belly dance class tonight, and it kicked my ASS! I am absolutely blown away at the way my muscles feel after this class. I have trouble with a couple of the moves, the ones where I have to roll my back fluidly in an S-curve. It looks like my spine is fused... but I'm fairly confident that it's only a muscle tone issue. The core of my body is just so out of shape that I can't pull my spine around like I will when they're more toned. Thankfully, I'm not the only woman in the class who is wearing shirts that cover my belly! Several of the women are dancers, and they have gorgeous abs, and they wear little halter tops and skirts... I'm wearing my black yoga pants and a t-shirt. The belly can just stay hidden for a while longer. When I lose 20 pounds, I'll start letting it out.

So, it's been a tough week, but I did lose a half pound... and I'm on my way back on the right road. This healthy stuff is HARD.

Oh hai, fame and fortune!

Me: Hello?... Cool local blog written for moms? Would you be interested in letting me share my efforts to get healthier with your readers on a regular basis? I'll try to be interesting and funny and generally entertaining, what do you say?

NWAMotherlode: Are you kidding? You are awesome and we love your writing and we can't wait to see what brilliant, hysterical, and at times, thought-provoking, things you have to say to us and our fabulous readers! *happy dance*

So, that's sorta-kinda how it went last week when I emailed one of the women who manage a local blog called NWAMotherlode. Kay... maybe the response wasn't quite that over-eager... and really, I didn't have my hidden camera focused correctly, so I can't guarantee what I saw was a happy dance. It could have just been someone trying to put on pantyhose. (does anyone wear pantyhose anymore? eww..) But, she did say they love my writing, and would love for me to write for their blog. So, Yay!

I'm going to start posting at the Motherlode (not sure when yet) every-other-week as a regular feature. I will be doing what I'm doing here for the most part - sharing info I'm learning about incorporating healthy choices into our lives every day, how to lose weight, get fit, and be healthy without having to follow some crazy "diet" and join a gym. The difference will be that on their blog I will probably not refer as much to my own personal stuff - unless the readers demand it. It's going to be more informational and educational. But of course the only way I know how to write is by throwing in a lot of Goofy and a bit of Wacky now and then... so that will be the same.

So, now on to the personal stuff! This week my weight is still 196, as it was last week. I have been drinking water like crazy, and have started taking a daily vitamin - both easy ways to immediately change the reading on your health-o-meter. I am also taking a ginko biloba supplement and some calcium, since I'm in my 40s and don't drink much any milk and have ridiculously bad memory challenges.

I keep saying I'm going to start walking after work. I know, right? How easy it is to say, how hard it is to DO! Actually, I feel I have a fairly legit reason for not starting - my daughter and I have been sharing a car for the last couple of weeks. Since I have to pick her up from school at 4pm, and I get off work at 4pm, it makes for no time to walk. By the time I get her, go pick up my son from daycare, and get home, it's dinner time. I have asked Oprah to loan me a chef (just during her "off the wagon" days would be fine!) but she hasn't returned my phone messages. Or emails... or tweets. She's just such a busy lady...

But, if all goes as planned, I'll have my own transportation by this weekend, and after The Storm of the Decade - Part 2 passes, I'll be hitting the streets of Har-Ber Meadows in my sneaks! Care to join me??

Okay, that's enough.

Yeah, last week's weigh in was great... a little weight loss was enough for me. I'm not looking for miracles here. But today, I am at 201. That's 2.5 more than last week. I know it's been a tough week - we had a potluck at lunch Friday, I ate too much Thai food last night, and Sonic for lunch and pizza for dinner Saturday was not a good idea either. But I was still really frustrated this morning when I stepped on the scale.

The worst thing about my weight is that my clothes are not fitting well. I refuse to go buy more pants unless the ones I have become to large. That means that I will be going to work in uncomfortable, ill-fitting clothes until I drop about 10 pounds.

All that said, I did make a few good choices today:

• Spinach salad for lunch.
• Yogurt for a snack instead of the crunchy granola bar or M&M's that were also available.
• Tea for a drink at work instead of soda.
• Plate full of fresh fruit and veggies with a Thai summer roll for dinner, also with tea.
• Went to the store when I was hungry and didn't pick up a candy bar or any junk food.

I don't know what is keeping me from being able to stick to my guns when it comes to meals. I know when I am overeating that I should have put less on my plate, or that I could have made a different choice, but it's like I constantly feel I deserve to reward myself. I need to come up with another reward besides food. Or remind myself that a bag of Doritos are not a good trade for smaller clothes, better health, and longer life.

I'm weak. But I have a solution!

Dear glass of amber liquid...
Cooled so gently by ice.
Refreshing,
Energizing,
Just plain perfect.
You are my weakness,
But I will triumph in spite of you!


Yep, there's a glass of Coke sitting on my desk right now, what of it?? Don't be a hater!

Okay, reality is a bitch. (Some say that about Karma, but I've found Karma to be pretty easy-going) Reality taps me on the shoulder and says "um... yeah, you have to update your blog, and you said you were going to be strong and all that crap. What gives??" And then she smirks at me too. So, I have to be honest and all that, and let you know that it's hard to stick to your weight-loss goals! I know this comes as a shock.

The best way to deal is to offer a lesson, so here I go. I may not look like Jillian, but I can teach you something! A standard Coke is 140 empty calories in a glass. My plans, as stated in my first post, are to be attentive to my intake, and make choices that will help balance the intake with activity. So, if I want to erase those 140 calories from my diet today, what could I do? I did a little search online, and found this website that lists a ton of different activities - both recreational and occupational - and lets you calculate the calories burned in an amount of time that you plug in. I don't have a lot of free time, so I looked at what I could do for 30 minutes to get rid of the demon on my desk...

I can burn 132 calories by doing one of these:  Frisbee, bowling, miniature golf, weight lifting, water volleyball, ballroom dancing, or cleaning house. 

Or I could bump it up to 155 calories by doing one of these: Hang gliding, sky diving, playing golf (using cart), trimming shrubs w/ power tools, vacuuming, carpentry work, bathing my dog, or archery (non hunting).

Or maybe I'll just go all out for 30 minutes, and do one of these to kick 177 calories off my intake today: Ping pong, Tai Chi, water aerobics, hacky sack, gymnastics, playing w/ kids (moderate effort), gardening, horseback riding, or motor cross.

Quite a selection, right? And I don't want to hear any laughing - I know some of you have hacky sack balls in that drawer in the laundry room that holds all your random crap... tape, mis-matched screws, flashlight bulbs, zip-ties, and hacky sack balls. My personal fave on the list is the "moderate effort" allowed while playing with the kids. Goes without saying that there are some days when even moderate is too extreme for me.

My point (thought I didn't have one, didn't you!) is that the key, as I've said before, is balance. Balance the good with the bad, in with out, up with down... you get the idea. I'm going to spend 30 minutes this evening getting some laundry done, picking up living areas and vacuuming. I'm fairly certain that the level of activity will burn off enough calories to make me feel okay about this Coke.

What do you do when you need to get up off your butt? What activities do you think you could add to your week to help put more things on the scale to balance the weaknesses you have?

Get thee behind me saute pan!!

Okay, I'm not really ditching my saute pan... I'm not completely crazy. But it sounded good, right? The demonization of saute pans is not something I would be surprised to see in some of the "eating light" magazines on the market...

But I'm not here to demonize anything in particular. Or even to chronicle my "diet" (because I'm not going on a diet). I'm just going to make some serious changes this year in the way I interact with food. I'm going to be more conscientious about my intake, and make decisions about my meals and snacks that are based on whether or not I'm hungry (there's a novel idea) and whether or not the food I'm choosing is the healthiest option available.

I know what you're thinking. "But Laurie... sometimes I don't WANT the healthiest option." And you're right - sometimes it's a birthday party, and there is cake and ice cream. And sometimes there's a road trip and a 44 oz. drink and a paper boat full of chili cheese dog is required every bit as much as a cd player playing Under the Table and Dreaming...  BUT (or should I say BUTT) that is a choice that has to be dealt with. If I go for the chili cheese dog and 44 oz. soda - it's salad for dinner and an extra 30 minutes on the walk or the treadmill. That's what my world is going to be like from here out.

In this (new) blog of mine, I will not be focusing on how to make your favorite fattening foods non-fattening, or how to live life sans Sonic and Taco Bueno. Life would not be worth living without the 2-4pm happy hour and Taco Bueno's tamales! Instead, I'm going to focus on how to live live life - a HEALTHY life - with those things included. More activity, less refined sugar. More veggies, smaller portions. Stuff like that. Follow along if you like, and feel free to share with the class if you have a success story of your own, or some tips for slimming down and firming up and living healthier. I'm going to also be using the word "healthy" a lot... because that's what it's about for me. Not a size or shape, but my health.

And, here's where I sound like a hypocrite: the reason I'm starting this journey is because I looked at the scale recently and finally saw the number I refuse to accept. 200. I weigh two hundred pounds. I know there are a lot of people out there who way a lot more than I do (except Oprah, who weighs the same) - and I am also aware that I'm fortunate to have a body-type that allows me to carry a lot of weight without looking too out of proportion. But that number, and a couple of pictures of myself that have surfaced lately, have pushed me to the limit. This one is from the summer of 2008, when I was around 195. I'm in my 40s, I have a 5 year-old I would like to see grow up, and it only gets harder to get in shape from here. So, today's the day.

First steps I've taken this week:
Signed up for the online version of Weight Watchers. It's only $17.95 a month (and there's a special going on right now!) and they offer a tremendous amount of information on living healthy. I'm tracking my points there as a way to keep a kind of food journal, and am logging my weight each week. I'll also look there for recipes. If I find good ones I'll share. :)

Cut out colas. This is REALLY hard for me, even though when I had them it was usually only one 20 oz a day, sometimes not even that. But I still want to switch to tea or water in order to cut out the sodium and sugar and, in the case of the diets, the artificial sweeteners. Soda just isn't "natural", and I don't need it.

Now I need to start putting more physical activity in my routine... that's next on the list.